Not interested

This is definitely going to come off as a slightly very much so bitchy blog. Sorry not sorry.

But just because I’m single doesn’t mean you can mind fuck and rape my photos on instagram unless you are legitimately one of my insta friends. (Which consist of Colin, Brett, Daniella or anyone I know in real life.) * This does not apply to you if you’re a hot chick – you’ve got free pass to do as you please. <- I crack myself up sometimes.

Also, stop DM’ing me. or I’ll block you. K thanks bye.

Oh side cheese – Yes I put my snapchat online – doesn’t mean I’ll add you or i’ll snap you back. Sorry. But I will send everyone the same snaps, or send you annoying snaps of my dogs. Hi.

Now to the other part of this blog, which is going  to be a rant of who/why/what/how the fuck I’m not interested in the people available.

Not interested:

Not if you live in Huntingdon.

Not if ya short or even my height. Unless you are Melodie- you love are perf’ ❤

Not if you don’t have a job.

Not if ya drink / smoke/ whatever the fuck more than once a week.

Not if you need attention from others girls consistently.

Not if you have a dirty Sanchez mustache – I mean please at least grow a real beard …

Not if ya obese or even over weight. <- Don’t mistake this for being a bitch and dating based on looks I like what I like and I refuse to settle for a turn off. I’m not asking you to look like Chris Hemsworth I’m just asking you not to have bigger tits than me. /done/

Not if you don’t like dogs.

And lastly not if you don’t like cars. Guys who aren’t into cars … like really ? Are you even male ? Where are your balls ? Do you even know what ‘stick’ means ? I mean we can be friends but I definitely wont date you haha. (Coughfriendzonecough)

It’s pretty sad how people don’t get ‘hints’ Trust me if I was interested you would know because I’d be talking to you. Or responding. And I really don’t even want to date. I want to lose 30lbs and fix my car up. Is there time for the D up in that mix ? Nah. Not really. Get over it.

Why do we waste so much time on finding ” mates” when we aren’t even our self ? when we aren’t happy ? I see so many people going into relationships unhappy seeking happiness and then they realize it can’t or their partners can’t fulfill their needs. I don’t need a relationship or even want one. I mean sure it’d be nice to kiss someone and cuddle someone – but I don’t need it and I’m not going to lower my standards just to get partial happiness and to not feel lonely. It wouldn’t last because I’m not being true to myself.

So I’m not interested overall. Not just of the options but also mentally, I just have no fucks to give. I want to work on my self. I want to work on my home. ON MY CAR <33 Give my dogs the love and attention they deserve. Be on time for work. Pay off more debt. Save money. And wholeheartedly and completely love myself, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

“Be the best version of yourself rather than finding someone better than your ex”

So suck it up buttercup :] #EndRant

Peace.

Priorities

Sorry long time no blog!

So prior to 2015 my priority has always been about working hard and getting an education.

has this changed ?

Obviously not, aha but the specifics have.Such being that I am no longer trying to finish up my college diploma. I have 3-4 courses to get before I get my diploma and 3 of which are french alone. Sigh. So for “college education” I’m taking a year off to pursue happiness (achieve my goals and ambitions). Wait what ? yea I know lmfao that’s stupid/crazy/unrealistic in this day and age because all we are here on earth for is to work and have children and buy things. YEAAA NO. Bitch please – Sure I believe in working hard and getting things with that money that’s the society I’ve grown up in. But I’m set with my job for a good while and gasp a minimum wage job you can’t do anything with that ? Yes, yes I can. I make enough to pay bills, own two dogs and a nice ass car and still save* (kinda save my savings have been a little low since I had a long-distance boyfriend and I used my money to see him and pretty much paid for everything.) But yes I love my job and I would never quit it for a higher paying job (I mean unless I make millions then we can start talking haha) and I love the physical / animal aspect of working on a farm. I will probably pick up a second job at some point because car parts LOL. Anyways the point being is that I want to be more constructive with my free time and not put it towards an education not this year at least.  But I will be pursuing CanFitPro probably, there’s a little health course I want to take.But me being me I will research things (you can categorize my two common interests as psychological things and health things with a side of documentaries)

Working is always a priority no change there- mind you I’m going to attempt to do more hours and be on time (or less late ahaha) I remember a couple summers ago I was doing 80hrs a week at the factory (russet house) I never plan on working that much again- it killed me. Though the dough was great almost 1k in a week. But not worth it in my opinion, the mental and physical stress is crazy.

So yea priorities work – save money

And my biggest priority under working is fitness and health. (*not diet and exercise those are temporary terms that set you up for failure.) I’ve been going at this since the 11th grade so ’09- i’ve gone up and down, gained some lost some and now I’m on the losing some. To date give or take depending on the day I’m negative 30lbs, in my personal opinion I have anywheres between 20-30lbs more that I would like to lose. And Sure people think I’m fine the way I am, but that’s their opinion- my goal is to be the stunner I was in 2011 and regardless of what others think I’m going to get there by September. And settling for an “ok” body is NOT really stimulating for me, the plain ol’ simpleness of settling doesn’t interest me. not even in the slightest. Being fit, being healthy, these things make me happy and running daily makes my happy – may or may not have to do with the chemical aspect of it; ENDORPHINS ! The point is that for me to be happy, I kinda have to work out – if I go 5 days without jogging or anything I get really annoyed and like need to jog. I can’t explain it without sounding like a nut job. But essentially I love to train, it makes me happy.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY – Duck Dynasty

Anyways, So this year I’ll be working, working out, doing fun things, working on my car, meeting new people, Tomorrow World, Bae – bae being ma balt.

Peace

Seriously doe

Merry Christmas everyone,

So I just got done work and am relaxing, and thinking and so forth.

Christmas is how you make it really, if you think it’ll suck it will if you think it will be great it will be. And then there are people like me aha that are stuck in the middle, I think Christmas is great (besides the materialism aspect tho) I love the idea of seeing all your friends and family and just spending time together.

Now what I don’t like, really and its unchangeable is the fact that my mom is no longer here – over the last year I have taken this and used as a drive for my ambition – in a positive way. Being me I always try to be positive, and I achieved many goals over 2014.

But I really just was not feeling the whole Christmas spirit – until a rather small gesture kinda made my wholeee day :3 So this pretty-fucking-amazing-asfuck-guy gave me a call (well 3 calls actually); like I said rather small gesture but Jesus did it make my day. I was on time (kinda) for work and I had a perma-smile on my face. Like seriously guys you have no clue how amazing it was just to talk on the phone with someone whom you can’t see on Christmas that you care about.

Which brings me to the semi conclusion of this blog, small gestures guys- you don’t need to spend every last fuckin penny you have on someone to show them you care. All it took for me is a call and I’m on like cloud 9. Not to get corny or anything it’s the small things that count :3

Have a merry Christmas and remember that it’s not about what you get, it’s about what you do for others and what you give that matters the most, alongside the small things in life ; appreciate the people around you cherish every moment because one day they won’t be there. Also the small things ❤

Peace.

Mkay I may have over reacted, just maybe.

So Wednesday / Thursday-ish (the line is slightly blurry) I was basically in the mode of “fuck my life” and I had wrote a blog on EVERYTHING that was going wrong but then when  I hit posted my computer went craycray and essentially lost the whole blog (not even a  draft was saved) and being all frustrated and stuff I just said fuck it there’s better things to do then rewrite it (like nothingness).  But since I had written that other post I’ve had the best of luck, or just a multitude of good/great things happen to me.

And today here’s the list of awesomeness:

Ugh, I got a free riding lesson, a pair of boots and gloves for winter.

I got a HUGE mirror and plywood to finish my repairs in my porch and supper from my aunt.

I made 40$ selling an old phone that I was keeping around until I could sell.

I got a weekend full of work which means more cash.

I got to go to an awesome concert (Brad paisley) and meet a new dude – was supper fun !

My porch is fully fixed and well done.

I’m sure there were more things  but I can’t think of them but these were the best I could think of 🙂 But it’s weird how everything can be the worst and then it can be the best.

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. 😉

Peace

#winning

frustrated

irritated, annoyed, sad.
UGH.
Nothing ever works out for me.
This isn’t a pity party for me, like I’m totally okay with it – it’s just more or less an acceptance of what is that seems to be unchangeable.
So i got a newer neon (car- newer in terms of usage same year as other car) and now that makes two. A grey one and my nicer newer one that is black  (and has all the things I’ve always wanted such as sound system, racing peddles and well the  biggest factor is that’s it has a WING) lol for some reason I’ve always wanted a wing, I don’t know maybe it makes me go faster 🙂 clearly a joke. haha

But anywho my other neon was basically done, so i got this one and if anything broke I could essentially take it off the other car. But of course things are never that simple: when I went to get my winter tires put on and my oil change several issues with my new to me car popped up. This was Wednesday.

Previous before that Wednesday I got my sound system in and it lasted 20 minutes before my subs (both brand new) blew. I think what makes me the most mad is that it was just a fucking tease!!!! like seriously! 20 minutes, bitch please. UGH and the guy is being a douche and doesn’t want to exchange them.

And then my bosses dad hit my car this morning (friday)- which it’s not the hit that has me mad/sad it is the fact that I’m so frustrated – nothing ever works out.  Like I wish for once in my life I can have  something of quality  that lasts, and to fix the several problems plus the damages on my front bumper( and I can’t open my passenger door) and additional rust damages (that came with the car when purchased it) it just comes out to this ridiculous price that I seriously don’t even want to think about. Work wise 1k and body wise another 1k or more.

It’s like I keep getting cars and shit just keeps happening to them and the last two “problems” aren’t even my fault yet it still makes me look bad.

I have 3 solutions (none of which I am considering at the moment  because I have gone into this over whelming ignoring my problems and dealing with other life problems first set of mind and thus being school and work and fitness and bills.) ANYWAYS back to solutions.

#1) which is actually three options within this solution that I will have to choose from if I choose solution #1 and those being buying a new car. Within this solution I can choose to buy a cheaper second-hand new car around 10k, or go for my dream car at 23k (couple km’s on it, 2012/2013 model) or just go all out and buy a kia soul ev (electric so no gas, and I get a wack load of money back from the government 8k up to 10k if I make a charging station at my house). So yea this isn’t even a simple choice on its own it would involve thinking, budgeting, test drives, multiple car choices, I mean a car for 10K there’s so many too choose from. Then IF I were to choose from the two new ones I have to choose between what I REALLLLLLLLY WANNNNT verse What I kinda want to represent/ be a good person but still like it, it’s just there’s no good sound system or turbo 😦

#2) Get another beater( most likely another neon yet this one will have body work and a reconstructed engine) But I’m really meh about this because this person could have sold me this exact car months ago which would have helped me / saved me so much money and it is presumably money that I can use for a down payment on a new car.

#3) Take the time and take parts from my grey neon and put them on my black neon, then get the frame rebuilt then get complete body work done and a paint job done. This also in theory would be a couple thousand dollars that I could use for a down payment on a newer car. And also there’s no guarantee of what I take of the grey car will be in good shape and be able to go on the black car.

additional option of which I’m using right now, drive it until it really breaks down then drive the grey one until that breaks and then use all my saved money and buy a new car in a year or however long the two neons last in combined time. Because they both still drive and work for the most part. the things wrong with the black neon aren’t deadly (except the frame will be a problem after some winter time) and the grey neon is just slowly dying a horrible presetone leaking into the engine and alternator going kinda death.

 

I’m just so sad/mad/annoyed/irritated/unmotivated/unsure/angry/disappointed that this is what it is and I can’t make my mind up.

*face/palm*

peace.

 

 

Life as you know it.

Really do you know it ?

Whats it’s for?

What it means ?

What to do?

Where to do it ?

Life, as I see it is to enjoy yourself – be happy. If that’s having a simple quite life awesome, if that’s traveling the world and being forever alone with a million huskies (not crazy cat lady but crazy dog lady lol jokes) awesome. if it’s sitting at home not fulfilling your wants and dreams then i slightly have a problem but that’s your life not mine all i can do is either be supportive and say nothing or be supportive and say something like “do what you want”

anyways I have no idea why I’m rambling probably has something to do with the fact that I’m bored and emotional and then this happens.

I’m just saying only you yourself can create happiness by your thoughts and actions combined – you can’t rely on ANYONE else to make you happy (momentarily sure like laughing at a joke or hearing a good song – but long-term satisfying happiness comes from within, from your actions and doings and thinking’s alike. )

I should probably be writing my ISSS paper but naw I feel like being all intellectual-ness,

Did you know I haven’t been alone for 5 years I’ve always have been with someone – friend family or bf. But to be really alone to have to deal with yourself – for me anyways it just turns into this ” why who where what how – life talk with myself”

Some negative, some positive.

I just came across a video on FB, please take 2.5 minutes to watch it.

http://www.upworthy.com/everything-wrong-with-the-world-in-25-minutes-sorry-if-this-offends-you?c=ufb1

Anyways I’m done my pondering for now- anyways for you guys. I’m gonna attempt homework.

GMV: Friends

Ah, I’m still vegetarian and vegan at least 3 days of the week, it’s hard being around 100% meat eaters or exception-ists (as in people who mainly eat vegetarian but still consume meet once in a while, gravy, seafood, eggs)

But what is hard is that most of the people whom surround me are not vegan or vegetarians and i simply have accepted that, which ive noticed online people on vegan sites hate for example other vegans whom are different (i.e. high fat, low fat, 80/10/10, raw, raw till 4, frutarians) But personally i just don’t hate people (rather dislike two people of which i don’t even talk to) so below i came up with a list of people or things that surround me that aren’t vegan and that i have accepted this, and my ultimate goal is to find friendships that are vegan or vegetarian.

What I have accepted:

-My friends eat meat (except for 1, she eats a hot dog once a year though haha Kim 🙂 but is vegetarian)

-My boyfriend eats meat

-People I live with eat meat

-Coworkers eat meat

-No restaurants surve vegan meals in Huntingdon

What I can change:

– Find friends who are vegan and vegetarian and accept them into my circle of happiness

– only hopefully influence my boyfriend- can’t change him though. It is tough being two different people, living two different lifestyles and sharing an intimate relationship. my boyfriend has practically been the same guy for the last 4 years and me myself I’ve changed or reinvented myself at least 4 times in the last 4 years.

-Move into my own vegan home, where no harm is done to any animal

-Start out sourcing for far vegan restaurants in Montreal or just never eat out and save $$$$

and as for my coworkers (excluding k.) that really is not an issue it was just a point as to whom surrounds me that is not similar in lifestyles to me. I was simply just listing people, thus being i mean no offence to anyone whom eats meat i listed yous for example purposes.

Also a few other plans for when i have my own home. veggies and fruits EVERYWHERERERERERERESSSSSSSS 🙂

organic and eco-friendliness

positivity and happiness

fitness and yoga.

all in all better things for me, my soul, the environment, and for anyone around me. ( what do i mean for anyone around me ? you know when you walk down the street and the guy in front of you is smoking and you get a big lung full of his nasty second hand smoke ? well no one around me will suffer from my second hand smoke or chemicals or litter(because i don’t smoke and don’t litter and avoid using chemicals that are toxic) – i do pollute because i fart and drive a car haha- but most of the things i do and plan on doing will better earth in some way or form.

what have you done today to  better yourself or planet earth ?

do you think eating meat is killing ?

What do you agree or disagree with ?

lastly, have any advice fellow vegans/vegetarians ?

 

 

 

The last show.

We all do something in life that changes us, who we are, we evolve.

I don’t know where I was going with this, I think my inspiration came from the season 4 ending of  THE WALKING DEAD.

Where do you get random spurts of inspiration ?

Peace.

Girl meets Vegan; A diary series.

This little series covers my transitioning from everyday american / Canadian foodie to raw vegan. On this quest of a life style change I will enter through the easier vegitarian way.

“Raw veganism is a diet that combines the concepts of veganism and raw foodism. It excludes all food and products of animal origin, as well as food cooked at a temperature above 48 °C.” according to wikipidea

This is what I’m working towards, This is the first post in my journey. I started this journey March 1st.  As you’re reading this you are probably thinking wait that’s a month ago or so …

I wasn’t comfortable with posting this to my news feed right away. Only people I know personally know about my lifestyle changes.

So readers I ask you of two things,  Support and positive vibes.

Are you partaking in a “lifestyle” change ?

Peace.

 

 

School

Great news,

So things have worked out, I guess I’m not sure why they just are falling into place.

I got a call from our coordinator and the campus near me is staying open so I am able to be full time student (course load of 4 classes) and still work. Since the campus is local I can arrange for my hours of milking to be in the early AM the way it is and supper time PM  and with a  course load of only 4 classes it will be very manageable.

The only con; essays haha.

Have I ever told you guys that I love school, I legit love to learn.

Since I dropped out all I do is watch various documentaries and Ted talks and research anything that comes to mind. Yes I dropped out, I’m not sure if I went over this previously in my blog but I drop my semester in fall, I could no longer afford to go, I had no car, I hand no motivation, I had no money, I was heartbroken, I was overwhelmed, in a terrible living condition all of these things led to me dropping out. A mere bump in the road, a overload and break down.

Right now I’m in a recovery mode, I’m fixing things, changing my lifestyle, trying to manage life, pay up my debt, save money for my future.

So to conclude, things do workout in the end. You just gotta grasp life by the balls and shake it around and go for an opportunity that comes at you.  🙂

I’m 7 courses away from my diploma, after next semester I’ll be 3.

How is everything working out at your end ?

Peace