Tag Archive | happiness

Not interested

This is definitely going to come off as a slightly very much so bitchy blog. Sorry not sorry.

But just because I’m single doesn’t mean you can mind fuck and rape my photos on instagram unless you are legitimately one of my insta friends. (Which consist of Colin, Brett, Daniella or anyone I know in real life.) * This does not apply to you if you’re a hot chick – you’ve got free pass to do as you please. <- I crack myself up sometimes.

Also, stop DM’ing me. or I’ll block you. K thanks bye.

Oh side cheese – Yes I put my snapchat online – doesn’t mean I’ll add you or i’ll snap you back. Sorry. But I will send everyone the same snaps, or send you annoying snaps of my dogs. Hi.

Now to the other part of this blog, which is going  to be a rant of who/why/what/how the fuck I’m not interested in the people available.

Not interested:

Not if you live in Huntingdon.

Not if ya short or even my height. Unless you are Melodie- you love are perf’ ❤

Not if you don’t have a job.

Not if ya drink / smoke/ whatever the fuck more than once a week.

Not if you need attention from others girls consistently.

Not if you have a dirty Sanchez mustache – I mean please at least grow a real beard …

Not if ya obese or even over weight. <- Don’t mistake this for being a bitch and dating based on looks I like what I like and I refuse to settle for a turn off. I’m not asking you to look like Chris Hemsworth I’m just asking you not to have bigger tits than me. /done/

Not if you don’t like dogs.

And lastly not if you don’t like cars. Guys who aren’t into cars … like really ? Are you even male ? Where are your balls ? Do you even know what ‘stick’ means ? I mean we can be friends but I definitely wont date you haha. (Coughfriendzonecough)

It’s pretty sad how people don’t get ‘hints’ Trust me if I was interested you would know because I’d be talking to you. Or responding. And I really don’t even want to date. I want to lose 30lbs and fix my car up. Is there time for the D up in that mix ? Nah. Not really. Get over it.

Why do we waste so much time on finding ” mates” when we aren’t even our self ? when we aren’t happy ? I see so many people going into relationships unhappy seeking happiness and then they realize it can’t or their partners can’t fulfill their needs. I don’t need a relationship or even want one. I mean sure it’d be nice to kiss someone and cuddle someone – but I don’t need it and I’m not going to lower my standards just to get partial happiness and to not feel lonely. It wouldn’t last because I’m not being true to myself.

So I’m not interested overall. Not just of the options but also mentally, I just have no fucks to give. I want to work on my self. I want to work on my home. ON MY CAR <33 Give my dogs the love and attention they deserve. Be on time for work. Pay off more debt. Save money. And wholeheartedly and completely love myself, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

“Be the best version of yourself rather than finding someone better than your ex”

So suck it up buttercup :] #EndRant

Peace.

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#SingleLife

Yea, this post isn’t going on FB either haha. That title is so 2014 actually.

As you may or may not know readers I was in a long-term on and off relationship that was before a friend ship. And it ended in august/ september ish there was no real END date it just kinda went down up down and then ended. But it was always like this, unhealthy never going anywheres-ness. We are friends now, which is manageable for the moment.

I mean for once in my life I can do things how and when I want to. I don’t have to just check in or clarify to anyone. BUT there’s also the whole being an extrovert and wanting to socialize or be with people aspect that becomes lonely because you’ve lost an array of people in your life but as you see it doesn’t have to be that way. When you’re a mature adult it doesn’t have to be this cut throat ending. Well maybe that’s because there was no cheating involved in which case I can’t fucking stand cheaters and if it were to happen to me I wouldn’t keep that person in my life at all. But this previous relationship – the person is a good person he’s just not “the one” I guess you can say in a lame way. But he has been a good friend and I feel like in some way he will be for a long while. but it does make the other friendships made through the relationships (aka his friends) a little awkward, in my own personal opinion but maybe that’s because I’m socially awkward ?

Some people LOVE being alone, Some DESPISE it. Well folks I’m that guy (actually I am a female I’m just using the term guy loosely) the one who is like WELP I’m alone what to do, eat ice cream? watch sad movies ? Walk my dog at night-time? (not that ANY of those were real life examples – I don’t even buy ice cream haha) But what to do, I’m a mix of introverted and extroverted, if that even makes sense – I like to be alone but hate it, I like being with people but the sometimes I hate it. *I actually do walk my dog at night for the most part a couple of times a week it is pretty nice no ones driving by or around, just us two walkin’.

Anyways so my solution was to no-doubtly buy a dog, which was a great idea and I don’t regret it at all (but it was unexpectedly costly good thing I had 4k in savings) Duke, he is seriously the new love of my life and of course I still love Dutchess too!

And as for the rest I’m just going with it, the flow of life; sleep, eat, work, school, dogs, bills, cleaning, fitness, and repeat. What else can you do ?

travel the world, fall in love with yourself, be happy, see things that are new and exciting everyday, new experiences these are the things I am aiming to do in the now and future as much as possible . If that means being forever alone except having my dogs then so be it because the only person who knows you the best, loves you more than anyone else and who is with you 24/7 365 for life is YOU- YOURSELF that’s all you got and the rest are interactions which come together to make your life experiences with others, mind you don’t mistake this for “I’m never ever dating ugh I hate men” That is not at all what I’m saying, I’m just going to do what I do best and if someone lines up and is well you know the obvious “attractive, and mentally stimulating and is a hard worker and wants to share some of these experiences and is in love and I am too” then that happens, but I’m not forcing anything, I’m not chasing, I’m not going after, I’m not going online dating, I’m not settling, I’m not going after 17 year olds ever again cause like ew haha, I’m not going to sleep around. I’m just not going to extremes to put myself out there but I am living and I feel like this will lead to things as life lets you. I do not believe in faith or everything will fall together I believe in doing something you love and finding someone along the way and this is applicable to meeting friends too.  Just gonna do what I do, how I do, when I do all those do’s. haha does that even make sense :p.

I feel like I’m putting too much effort into explaining myself haha I’m one of those complicated elaborated not simplified persons don’t get me wrong I’m not extreamly happy, because well right now all I can think of is my shitty car and my homework assignment which I’m avoiding and in turn writing about this complicated mess of love and life. But I am living and I am doing the things I love which adds up to happiness. Which compared to a couple of years ago I’m way happier right now than I was 5 years ago or even months ago. Which in the long run is what matters most right? WHAT is with this font.

Awkwardness, so essentially I’m just being me and where that leads me is unknown because you never know what happens in tomorrowland until you’re there. (ha 10 points for anyone who knows what I’m talking about in this sentence! it’s a multi meaning type of thing.)

I’m just going to stop this now.

Peace.

 

School

Great news,

So things have worked out, I guess I’m not sure why they just are falling into place.

I got a call from our coordinator and the campus near me is staying open so I am able to be full time student (course load of 4 classes) and still work. Since the campus is local I can arrange for my hours of milking to be in the early AM the way it is and supper time PM  and with a  course load of only 4 classes it will be very manageable.

The only con; essays haha.

Have I ever told you guys that I love school, I legit love to learn.

Since I dropped out all I do is watch various documentaries and Ted talks and research anything that comes to mind. Yes I dropped out, I’m not sure if I went over this previously in my blog but I drop my semester in fall, I could no longer afford to go, I had no car, I hand no motivation, I had no money, I was heartbroken, I was overwhelmed, in a terrible living condition all of these things led to me dropping out. A mere bump in the road, a overload and break down.

Right now I’m in a recovery mode, I’m fixing things, changing my lifestyle, trying to manage life, pay up my debt, save money for my future.

So to conclude, things do workout in the end. You just gotta grasp life by the balls and shake it around and go for an opportunity that comes at you.  🙂

I’m 7 courses away from my diploma, after next semester I’ll be 3.

How is everything working out at your end ?

Peace