Mkay I may have over reacted, just maybe.

So Wednesday / Thursday-ish (the line is slightly blurry) I was basically in the mode of “fuck my life” and I had wrote a blog on EVERYTHING that was going wrong but then when  I hit posted my computer went craycray and essentially lost the whole blog (not even a  draft was saved) and being all frustrated and stuff I just said fuck it there’s better things to do then rewrite it (like nothingness).  But since I had written that other post I’ve had the best of luck, or just a multitude of good/great things happen to me.

And today here’s the list of awesomeness:

Ugh, I got a free riding lesson, a pair of boots and gloves for winter.

I got a HUGE mirror and plywood to finish my repairs in my porch and supper from my aunt.

I made 40$ selling an old phone that I was keeping around until I could sell.

I got a weekend full of work which means more cash.

I got to go to an awesome concert (Brad paisley) and meet a new dude – was supper fun !

My porch is fully fixed and well done.

I’m sure there were more things  but I can’t think of them but these were the best I could think of 🙂 But it’s weird how everything can be the worst and then it can be the best.

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. 😉

Peace

#winning

GMV: Hardest step

So this is the second entry in my Girl meets vegan (and in later Girl meets vegan lifestyle meaning that I have successfully become vegan) This entry is a little on the worrisome side and the unsureness of my decision.

Coffee.

And

Dairy. (less of a concern / problem as compared to coffee hence why this blog will mostly address my coffee problems)

These two things have been in my life for years.

I grew up as a little girl occasionally getting tea and then steady at the age of 14/15 I would have a cup a day, then my late teens 17- 22 I would have more than cup  a day sometimes  a pot a day- I did included 22 there because I only started changing my habits in March and  I turned 22 in February so that is accounted for.  And going back to my 17 years I would have a pot a day – I didn’t like soda and coffee was relatively a cheap beverage, so it was and still is an addiction.

I plan on quitting coffee, maybe cold turkey, maybe substitute it with something else.

One thing is for sure I am ADDICTED to caffeine, the kind of massive head ache, and even sometimes vomiting if I don’t consume a cup of caffeine a day. Mind you as long as I have a cup a day of tea or coffee I’m good as gold.

I don’t want to be addicted to this. Maybe if coffee was a super food it would bother me, but it is not a super food and has been labeled as bad for you. Sometimes I won’t even consume other beverages like water or juice it was/is just coffee. Thirsty have a cup of coffee, preworkout beverage is coffee. (~~Mind you these are true and real examples of my self between 17 and 22, But I have started since Jan 2014 to cut down on coffee consumption and first thing in the am have a good big ol’ gulp of water, sometimes 1/4 a glass sometimes a cup of water~~)

So to conclude, I want to quit coffee and limit my milk intake or replace these two intakes with better healthier options that I’m not addicted to.

What are you addicted too ?

Peace

I said no and then.

I accepted chocolate back into my life thoughtlessly.

YEP.

I just walked by grabbed some and ate it without realizing it.

Jesus.

Also alcohol last night.

I mean ‘never say never’ but with the chocolate it lasted one god damn day.

And as for alcohol I drank with moderation, two shots and one porn star drink. Costed 20$. ( I bought a friend two shots)

Or I should say I wasted 20$ on alcohol.

For the first time in two months.

But anyways…

Do you give in to things you know that you shouldn’t ?

Peacce

Working on Homeostasis.

Aka,

The balance within that’s going to be affecting the outside too.

So this new year I have been restoring balance on the outside of my life- debt repayment, saving, getting more work, working out everyday, doing more things I like, Getting plenty of sleep. But some of these “outside things”  affect my inner body – like being healthy, eating healthy, sleeping 8 hours a day, working out, skating.

I can’t say “I’m healthy” I mean some of you will argue with me, for the most part I am improving my heath (but I just ate a bowl of fro-yo sooo I can’t say just yet that I am healthy) Though I have been daily incorporating healthy juices into my diet – in my opinionmy efforts are  still minimal. I know that If I wanted too I could be eating healthy a good 90% of the time. But …

One thing I keep saying is a priority of mine is to be healthier – I mean though this is a lifestyle I already have; I am influenced by those around me – friends and my boyfriend especially. And I lack self-control. I JUST CANNOT NOT EAT CHOCOLATE IF IT IS OFFERED TO ME. And sadly I won’t say no. But see if that was just the case – it alongside others foods offered to me once in a blue moon I’d be all good. It’d be once in a while and controlled. But I live with my Boyfriend – and even though his parents don’t buy all of our food and I’d say 1/4th is healthy  (we buy our fruits and veggies for juicing) I just can’t say no to that fro-yo or that over processed bread or pasta or nuts. I mean I walk into the kitchen often – It’s where the exit of the house is.  And it is so easy just to grab and go.

Sure your thinking “portion control” nope I lack that too.

And I guess this post is about the struggle – maybe I’m weak, or discipline less. I just don’t know how.

Alongside this my boyfriend works at a resto so it is so easy to ask him to order something for me – and the second I ask I regret it, but then it is too late I can’t just waste the food. So I eat it.

I’m not blaming them- I’m completely blaming myself, I just wish there was a way to not want it. To look at it and go ‘meh’.

Does anyone have any ideas and such ?

Methods ?

Are you like this too ?

Peace, stay healthy.