frustrated

irritated, annoyed, sad.
UGH.
Nothing ever works out for me.
This isn’t a pity party for me, like I’m totally okay with it – it’s just more or less an acceptance of what is that seems to be unchangeable.
So i got a newer neon (car- newer in terms of usage same year as other car) and now that makes two. A grey one and my nicer newer one that is black  (and has all the things I’ve always wanted such as sound system, racing peddles and well the  biggest factor is that’s it has a WING) lol for some reason I’ve always wanted a wing, I don’t know maybe it makes me go faster 🙂 clearly a joke. haha

But anywho my other neon was basically done, so i got this one and if anything broke I could essentially take it off the other car. But of course things are never that simple: when I went to get my winter tires put on and my oil change several issues with my new to me car popped up. This was Wednesday.

Previous before that Wednesday I got my sound system in and it lasted 20 minutes before my subs (both brand new) blew. I think what makes me the most mad is that it was just a fucking tease!!!! like seriously! 20 minutes, bitch please. UGH and the guy is being a douche and doesn’t want to exchange them.

And then my bosses dad hit my car this morning (friday)- which it’s not the hit that has me mad/sad it is the fact that I’m so frustrated – nothing ever works out.  Like I wish for once in my life I can have  something of quality  that lasts, and to fix the several problems plus the damages on my front bumper( and I can’t open my passenger door) and additional rust damages (that came with the car when purchased it) it just comes out to this ridiculous price that I seriously don’t even want to think about. Work wise 1k and body wise another 1k or more.

It’s like I keep getting cars and shit just keeps happening to them and the last two “problems” aren’t even my fault yet it still makes me look bad.

I have 3 solutions (none of which I am considering at the moment  because I have gone into this over whelming ignoring my problems and dealing with other life problems first set of mind and thus being school and work and fitness and bills.) ANYWAYS back to solutions.

#1) which is actually three options within this solution that I will have to choose from if I choose solution #1 and those being buying a new car. Within this solution I can choose to buy a cheaper second-hand new car around 10k, or go for my dream car at 23k (couple km’s on it, 2012/2013 model) or just go all out and buy a kia soul ev (electric so no gas, and I get a wack load of money back from the government 8k up to 10k if I make a charging station at my house). So yea this isn’t even a simple choice on its own it would involve thinking, budgeting, test drives, multiple car choices, I mean a car for 10K there’s so many too choose from. Then IF I were to choose from the two new ones I have to choose between what I REALLLLLLLLY WANNNNT verse What I kinda want to represent/ be a good person but still like it, it’s just there’s no good sound system or turbo 😦

#2) Get another beater( most likely another neon yet this one will have body work and a reconstructed engine) But I’m really meh about this because this person could have sold me this exact car months ago which would have helped me / saved me so much money and it is presumably money that I can use for a down payment on a new car.

#3) Take the time and take parts from my grey neon and put them on my black neon, then get the frame rebuilt then get complete body work done and a paint job done. This also in theory would be a couple thousand dollars that I could use for a down payment on a newer car. And also there’s no guarantee of what I take of the grey car will be in good shape and be able to go on the black car.

additional option of which I’m using right now, drive it until it really breaks down then drive the grey one until that breaks and then use all my saved money and buy a new car in a year or however long the two neons last in combined time. Because they both still drive and work for the most part. the things wrong with the black neon aren’t deadly (except the frame will be a problem after some winter time) and the grey neon is just slowly dying a horrible presetone leaking into the engine and alternator going kinda death.

 

I’m just so sad/mad/annoyed/irritated/unmotivated/unsure/angry/disappointed that this is what it is and I can’t make my mind up.

*face/palm*

peace.