Being First.

This is one of my weaknesses and sitting back and looking at my friendships, relationships and family I never am first to say sorry, or make conversation. Got in a fight with ‘bob’ I won’t say sorry unless I do believe it was my fault. It’s really a stubborn trait and I notice it frequently with my boyfriend. Thank god he loves me, but if I’m mad I’ll sulk and just simply refuse to even breathe the same air as him (I know that is obviously impossible while living in the same house. I won’t admit it because I’m  indenial stubborn) But he always makes first amends which really I’m grateful for.
When ever I notice my flaws I try to fix them to the best of my ability  and lately I’ve been trying to fix this flaw, by being first, by saying sorry, by doing whatever I deem fit to make things right.  Some times I truly was in the wrong and by being a grown up I just want t make things okay, but now I’m even trying to fix those things were I was not wrong.
Lately I have been going back to past relationships (Meaning friendships, family.) and trying to rejuvenate them. If
I feel it was a good relationship to have in my life, then I have either made minimal contact hiding behind my facebook or email, and then I proceed to talk in person. I feel like it’s good to forgive and forget, being a mature person brings inner gratification which is always rewarding.
Some relationships I will never want back. They were toxic and just overall a bad person to have around. I feel that it is important to give everyone a second chance, but then not too many chances. My safe zone would be no more than three times, at that point there has been to many chances and things won’t get better. 
This post comes from the fact that it’s good to forgive and forget and being a growing person where maturity seems to have more importance in my life I feel that it’s beneficial to grow up and fix your flaws. 
disclaimer: Fix your flaws based on what you think not based on what other people tell you. It’ll mean so much more if you choose to do somethings differently versus what your peers are telling you.
Mind over matter. 

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